When I think on all the battles through out my life I am truly amazed of how God helped me through the valleys and the trails that I was confronted with due to being over zealous and unlearned.
Being young and untrained there were many times that I felt that I could not make it. Truth is I could have never made it without the help of the Lord guiding me.
I believe that the only way one can know they can make it through hard times is to have gone through it. To have gone through the fire and the floods then is when you know that there is favor in your life.
Mistakes yes, I have made them, yet the grace of God has always shown me a way of escape in my error.
I found that I was my biggest enemy, with the way I allow myself to think. Thinking negatively was something that I had to reprogram my mind into no longer doing. A better way of thinking was what I had to learn not only about myself but about God as well.
I showed a lot of disrespect by having a foolish heart, there was a lot for me to learn. I am not proud of this but it is what many have going on in their heart and no one is willing to tell them to sit down and be still, be trained.
The teaching that I did get was that God was a higher power looking down on us humans just waiting to catch us doing something wrong so that He could punish those that made mistakes, this was all I knew at the time, that and of course the plan of salvation, boy was that ever drilled in our head..
I had to come to the realization that I was predestinated by God. This has not always been an easy road for me. The only way for me to learn better was to find myself in a down and out state. I had to learn of a loving, caring Father that would be there for me when I was down and out.
I feel that many think so little of their self, finding it hard to believe that God could possibly care for them and this is why I want to share this with you to maybe help you to know of the love that God has for you.
Believers at times appear to have an air about them that they have never had a problem, never a lack of faith as a candle flickering out. Many have acted as if they have never made a mistake. The teaching that everything just falls into place once one accepts salvation has mislead many to believe that things are going to be perfect now that you have accepted the Lord .
Experience is something that many try to avoid, an unwilling attitude. Each of us must go through a training process if one tries to avoid it only slows their progress and growth in the Lord in their life.
I found myself focusing on the branches of the tree rather than taking root deep into the ground, so when the storms come and they did come. I can tell you that I found that I needed to be rooted and grounded and I was not by no means ready or grounded for the battles that were ahead of me.
So many have placed far too much emphasizes on the outer man and very little if any on the inner man, here is where the trouble begins. Finding one going through hard times and having no foundation to be able to stand.
It is imperative for a healing of the inner man, learning who you are in Christ has got to be made known to each believer.
If you are unwilling to be taught then the road ahead of you will be a rough one.
How I know this is I was one that after becoming a believer felt that I knew it all and that I did not need to sit still and learn of the ways of the Lord. I was the type to go off and running towards a higher place in God. Not aware that a very hard lesson was a head for me due to my stubborn spirit, know it all attitude that was working in my inner man.
I found that I had to learn one way or the other and by refusing to be still and wait on the Lord to teach me and guide me. God had a plan for my life, he did not desire for me to chose the hard road of teaching but never the less it was a choice I had made. So the learning did begin with me. I was to learn I did not know it all and I was by no means ready for the battles that were too be encountered.
I having no knowledge or wisdom much to speak of, I soon found that I was in no shape or prepared by God for the trials that were ahead. Many mistakes were made at this time and I could have had many regrets if it were not for the Lord. But truly the only regret I had was that I was unwilling to be taught and to be still and wait upon the Lord to direct me.
I am much older now and I have learned this, that the inner man must be filled with his spirit my foundation is in knowing that the Kingdom of God is within me and with God and Him teaching me I have learned that nothing is impossible with Him for He is well able to keep me.
I no longer desire to go running with the racers, I desire to be in his presence and sit at his feet, to learn of his ways.
This is my mission not to be known of man but to know God and for him to know me and to trust in Him with all of my heart. I desire to help those that are willing to be taught of the ways of the Lord and of the word of the Lord.
I trust that this has been a help to you and your walk with the Lord may be one of learning how wonderful His love truly is.

Sonja © 2007